my heart sighing. i felt burdened whenever people put such a fucking high expectation to me. and i felt pressured. i will never understood how can some people characterize someone based on gpa/cgpa. or her/his rankings on school/university/company.

some people, are blessed with certain specialty such as, high self-esteem, capabilities to speak other language fluently, able to stand up in the middle etc. but not for me, i started from down. i'm not intelligent enough. when i was in primary school. i'm not someone that everyone wanted to be friend with. i'm such a freak and a stupid kind of one.

but slowly, i grow up. learn to appreciate the value of knowledge. i started to learn how knowledge could help to reforming myself becoming a better person. and because of that, i study. because of niat kerana Allah, to become a better muslimah and a better daughter.

and it pissed me off at extreme level. whenever people was like 'tak pe la,kau dah bijak.tak payah study' etc. i don't know, i was offended with that kind of words. but i keep it to myself. i'm not gifted with ability to memorize every single shit i read or learn, i'm not really good with numbers, i don't have such a wide knowledge. no, i didnt have all of that. the only thing i have, is my trust for Allah. i believed in Allah words, that those who work hard for something they want will be rewarded. and my love for knowledge.

so please, for a second. stop. stop judging people by its ranking. ranking doesn't determine who they are. and you don't have to point it out directly. if u feel i am stupid and 'alah,ko nasib baik je' then keep it for your fucking self. cuz,i already noted it.

and your shits, won't become obstacle to me. if something that going to hold me down. it will because Allah wanted me to stop. because He knows me better in and out. so until then, i am going to learn and keep learning, for God. for Islam. for Ummi and Abah.

not to impress anybody. so, stop please.